My Daddy, My Hero

I went to Omaha this weekend to visit my Dad, sister and nephew. It was a pleasant trip and I was sad to see it end. I don't see my family as much as I'd like to, so when I do get to visit them, it is extra important that our time together is valuable. We celebrated father's day for my Dad a week early since we will be leaving on our extended vacation next week.

My dad has uncomplicated tastes and simply requested Godfather's Pizza for his Father's day supper. We happily obliged him (especially since Godfather's pizza is one of my favorites as well).

My Dad has always been my hero. He raised four kids on his own (my mom died when I was five and the stepmom that lasted for five years is another topic entirely). Dad has had a tough life and some really tough breaks. His wife died, leaving him with four children to care for. He remarried into a disaster. Now he lives alone and prefers it that way. He is scared of entering into another relationship and I don't blame him, butI do hope he finds love again one day. But if he doesn't, I still think he will okay.

He is an extremely hard worker. He has worked with his hands as a meat cutter since he was a teenager. As he entered his fifties he discovered another talent with which to use his hands- ceramics. My flannel-shirt and jeans wearing, meat-cutting, cigarette smoking, silent but strong type Dad, creates some of the most beautifully painted ceramic pieces I've ever laid my eyes on. I never ever would have guessed that he had this talent- I don't think he would have either.

But he loves it. It is his passion, his hope, his dream to some day work on his ceramics full time. Unfortunately, his life requires more monetary responsibilities than he can handle without his full time meat-cutting job. But his hope is strong, and he is not giving up on this dream. Every time the subject of his ceramics comes up, he says with conviction and determination in his eyes, "I'm not giving this up."

He has thousands of ceramic molds in a storage space which he pays rent for each month. He has everything from flower vases to 3 feet tall lions! But he works so much at his other job that he might only visit it once a month. He can only work on his paintings every now and then, when he's not too tired from his long day of work. I admire him for this. He has attempted to turn it into a business twice but neither situation worked out too well.

I admire him for having a dream and for holding onto it and believing in it. Even if he is never able to do anything with it, other than paint some pieces for his family, he has this passion for something. I think it keeps him going on those days when the work is hard and his hands hurt.

As I have become an adult, I sometimes feel that I am the one giving more of the advice and encouragement to my Dad, rather than Dad giving this to his daugher. But he gave it to me when I needed it. I am glad to repay the favor. I used to feel somewhat burdened by it-listening to him talk about how much he hates his job and how he wishes he could have more time off. I felt like I needed to help him, to somehow fix things for him. Now as I have my own family and feel more settled myself, I understand that he just needs someone to talk to and doesn't expect me to provide solutions to his problems.

My whole life, no matter what I've gone through or how long in between our conversations, when my Dad says in his calm, quiet voice that he loves me, I feel safe in this world and a little more sturdy inside. There is something about a Dad that can do that to you.

I love my Dad wholeheartedly and I am grateful for him. He is my Daddy, he is my hero.